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Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Part One: Press Pause

Do you shoot first and ask questions later? 
Reacting vs. Responding is dangerous. 

Start your training now: will this matter next week? in a month? next year? in the light of eternity does this make the cut? I can let go of a LOT of things "in the light of eternity." Training is a journey - this is a mindset shift; a perspective overhaul. Come along!

Seven Day Blog series begins today!

PART ONE: Press Pause

We get the most practice on Responding to a situation instead of Reacting to a situation with those we are closest with – our family!  Is the offense scream-worthy?  Are my feelings hurt?  Who has wounded me?  Is it a perceived injury or a real one?  Am I lashing out at someone close because I cannot or don’t want to lash out at the true offender?  A slew of questions can run through your mind – and they should.

Sally said to Harry not to "express every emotion you have the moment you have it."  Press Pause.  Don’t “stuff it” and not deal with it – but give yourself time for proper assessment.  Press Pause.  Years ago, my husband and I attended a marriage retreat which gave us time to connect over pieces of our lives that might trouble us when they weren’t troubling us.  Let me say that plainly: we talked about the problems when there wasn’t a problem.  

When there’s something truly bothering you, it’s going to bother you later that day, week, or month.  Often, the thing that bothers you is a symptom of a larger issue and doesn’t truly hit the heart of the matter.  
Blowing up over the situation (reacting), put simply, doesn’t help.  It often hurts, alienates, and creates a rift in relationships to mend.
When you choose to pause, to “hold onto” that emotion for later, you give yourself and those you love most, the gift of time (this does not mean to stew in discontent).  Time is a precious commodity.  Time offers you the chance to be curious about the situation, interrogate yourself, look at it from another perspective, resolve it internally without others' involvement, or formulate questions to gain better understanding. Time lets you calmly and rationally verbalize your emotions and feelings in a way that another will properly receive them.  

How do you choose the right time and make sure I'm heard?  Stay tuned for the rest of the series.

Series Highlights:

  • Choosing the Right Time to Talk
  • How to Connect So Your Message is Received
  • Listening Well Helps your Get Your Message Across
  • Hiding Behind Your Computer
  • Doormat or Helpmate?
  • Response, Wrapped in Love, Equals Restoration

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